Despite what you see on TV and in movies, having sex for the first time is rarely romantic, pleasant, or sexy. Sure, it can be—in theory. It was with my boyfriend on our one-year anniversary.
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There is no one definition of virginity. Others may define virginity as never engaging in vaginal penetration with a penis, despite having had other types of sex, including oral stimulation and anal penetration. Some people may no longer call themselves a virgin after engaging in anal penetration or penetration with a finger or sex toy. Others may reconsider their virginity status after receiving or giving oral stimulation. Oh, the hymen — the stuff of legend. Depending on its size, a hymen can be torn during penetrative sex, exercise, or some other physical activity. Your hymen — like your finger or your ear — is just a body part. Plus, not everyone is born with a hymen, and if they are, it may be a very small piece of tissue. You — and you alone — decide the status of your virginity. However, you will experience certain physiological reactions related to sexual arousal.
Skip navigation! Story from Movies. Find me a teen movie , any teen movie, and I'll show you at least one character obsessed with losing their virginity. The storyline is used in just about every YA book , teen TV show, and movie, perhaps because it's so eminently relatable. In movies, virginity loss scenes often contain hidden messaging about what sex means, and what its repercussions for an individual are. For male characters, sex is viewed as a conquest, and the loss of virginity is accompanied by a metaphorical trophy that says: Welcome to Manhood. Entire movies, like American Pie , are centered around boys relentlessly pursuing sex. Typically, that's not how sex is portrayed for women characters exception: Michaela Cole's Chewing Gum , a TV show centered around one sheltered woman's quest to lose her virginity. If a movie shows a woman losing her virginity, it's either some momentous and romantic occasion, or something that comes with major repercussions, for better or for worse. We've been imbibing these messages our whole lives.